🎧 4. My 30th birthday treasure hunt
(feat. The infamous evil Godzilla of Bangkok City)
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⚠️ Warning: This episode contains some explicit swear words 💥🐺
Highlights
🔦 I went on an insane adventure, solving riddles to find 2 mystery BD presents.
🦖 Along the way, we fled from the infamous evil ‘Godzilla of Bangkok City’.
🧓🏻 And sentimentally reflected on what it’s like becoming 30.
Note: We did this treasure hunt in early 2021, when it was relatively safe since Thailand’s daily COVID-19 cases were almost zero (though we still wore masks). At this time of writing (mid 2021), it’s bad. I really missed the treasure hunt...
We believe in quality over quantity. These pieces take WEEKS of care to craft and maintain. Subscribing and SHARING keeps us pumped and helps us in a long way! 💌
Show Notes
References 👉
Pictures! 🌇
Easter eggs & bonuses 🐣
Thank you 🙏
Transcript 🔍
SPOILER ALERT below onward
1. References 👉
2. Pictures! 🌇
3. Easter eggs & bonuses 🐣
Behind those words 😏
“Upgrade the auditory” = I bought a new handheld recorder, Zoom H5. It’s pretty good, but the built-in mic broke immediately after the treasure hunt ended…
“ไอเหี้ย!” = The Thai swear word I said instinctively, in a sense, is relevant to the Godzilla. A very Southeast Asia-specific proto-Godzilla variant, the Asian Water Monitor (Varanus salvator). Thai people swear this way because… just imagine this beast invading your home in the middle of the night to eat your chickens. That’s how the water monitor became a swear word in Thailand.
“Yea you and formal education don’t really go well together” / “…Haunt me in my nightmares” / “The past 10 years… been a bumpy ride for you” = Formal education is a traumatic experience to me. Anyone?
“[sigh] You shy boy.” = I’m a super introvert even with my parents. The only exception is with Joyce. When I’m with her, I turn into a serial prankster. Hehe. So if you ever meet me on the street, I’m a completely different person.
“A turtle neck!” = Nobody in their right mind would wear a turtle neck in Thailand… It’s because Joyce is doing a PhD in UK at the moment. And she has her ways of reminding me that, “HEY, we still need to go back to the UK again to finish up my PhD, don’t you forget!” On that note, the next episode is on studying abroad, YAY!
“I’m sorry ancestor!” = This was just to prank Western listeners who think we do everything for ‘honour’ and to not shame our ancestors like in Disney’s Mulan or The Last Samurai. There’s a lot of deeper rationale behind it, but in short, I only think about my ancestors maybe twice a year during festivals, and ‘honour’ never for honour’s sake. EP1 goes deep into that.
“Months of preparation” = So in the end, she revealed that she had already begun preparing for it ages ago. Sneaky!
“I just published about undemocratic practices in schools and like— student protests…” = Puts all my voicing out in this audio piece to shame, about the corruption in Thailand (the illegal car noise pollution, toxic air, pot holes). 😳
Don’t get me started on COVID-19 management…
“Beat box” = Joyce doesn’t really know how to do that. I just strung lots of weird noises Joyce made to produce it. If she could, she’ll be too much of an insufferable genius who could do everything under the sun… I hate geniuses…
Joyce’s mind-blowing coffee cocktail recipe (2 servings) 🍹
Ingredients
1/3 lemon (or 1/2, if you love it tangy!)
1 passion fruit
180ml (+/-) cold-brew coffee concentrate*
1 can of Schweppes Ginger Ale
Some ice cubes: 2 for mixing, the rest for serving
Steps
In a large shaker (or in our case, a freebie plastic whey shaker), add the lemon juice and scrape in the passion fruit.
Pour in the coffee, adding up to a total of 200ml.
Add the ginger ale, and 2 ice cubes. Shake well.
Using a strainer, pour the mixture into another container. Use a spoon to scrape the passion fruit seeds against the strainer, to get the most flavour into the drink. Option to add the seeds back into the drink if you like the crunch.
Gently stir to loosen the foam from the shake. Pour into 2 glasses, over ice.
*Note on the coffee: You can prepare a cold-brew concentrate yourself by mixing ground coffee with room temperature water at a 1:8 weight ratio, then leave it covered in the fridge overnight and filter before use. We sometimes get ours from a favourite local cafe. Alternatively, use 2 (cooled or chilled) espresso shots, though the taste will be a bit heavier.
Win: Why so serious Joyce! So detailed!
Joyce: Shhhhh! I’m concentrating! I’m a coffee perfectionist. 💋
How I dramatically changed after I became 30 🎅🏻
The most significant change about myself was how I became more… tamed
(a reference to how I was wild before, in EP3).I saw how companies/teams can still thrive even after I quit my job there.
I empathised with people who aren’t interested in changing the world, how they are also heroes too only in a more intimate sphere (i.e. their family). I used to feel angry at my parents talking about business with me all the time, never about improving the society.
I learnt from my wife that sometimes it took losing the battle (an argument), to win the grand war (our relationship). Basically, just shut up and hug her even if my brain says otherwise. That’s the trick. 😉
I’m still a wild horse, don’t get me wrong — egoistic, ambitious, and argumentative — but my reactions are more… complex now. More practical from learning how the world works, and that objectively, I am insignificant to humanity and the universe. I suppose this is a part of growing up, to mature.
What I’m glad though (and I hope it never dies), is that I came out of this ‘reality-shock’ barely losing any enthusiasm for life. So I’m as idealistic yet pragmatic as ever before. Who says you can’t be both at the same time! A real human isn’t a one dimensional character like those we often seen in bad Hollywood films — and there are many things still for me to learn.
As for the TED Talk that Joyce mentioned, Meg Jay: Why 30 is not the new 20, which says that your 20s is your critical developmental/foundational period — I agree, but life is messy! Not everyone is fortunate to have it all worked out that early. That’s why we get weirdos like me in the society.
As long as our mentalities are in the right place to make the right choices later, I think that’s good enough.
I might bit slow in my career (a full-time househusband now), but I think I’m at a very solid place now in all other aspects of life, compared to the rest of my peers. So I guess it’s a matter of priorities. We’ll all end up in the same place some day (hopefully). 😊
Do you agree? Let us know what you think!
4. Thank you 🙏
😎 To you, our listener, for listening!
🐺 Co-host = Joyce, the annoying Harry Potter fanatic ‘Wer-wulf’
🐔 Guests = The KFC cashier & Rachel (Joyce’s friend in the UK)
🎹 Music library = Shutterstock Music & Blue Dot Sessions
We believe in quality over quantity. These pieces take WEEKS of care to craft and maintain. Subscribing and SHARING keeps us pumped and helps us in a long way! 💌
5. Transcript 🔍
Notes
This is a sound-rich episode with musical scores and environmental sounds. Listen to it to get the best experience.
Italic words = echoed voice or riddle
JW = Joyce & Win
ENV = Environmental sound. There are only a few sound effects (SFX) used in this episode, the rest are natural.
Segments
Warning
[Riddle no. 0] Bottomline, never ever underestimate your wife
Intro
[Riddle no. 1, 2] Kick your ass, how dare you suggest that!
The evil Godzilla of the Bangkok City
It’s my dying wish!
[Riddle no. 3] The clucking mad Chizza scramble
[Riddle no. 4] YOU’RE gonna make it, you have all the ingredients
Joyce ASMR cocktail montage
[Riddle no. 5] Run! Before my parents come back. RAWR!
[Riddle no. 6, 7, 8] YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
[Riddle no. 9] Oh I’m supposed to know Elven tongue eh?
And they live happily ever after… as a Mandalorian couple
Good farting to you!
Warning
[SFX: background environmental sound slowly rises — wind blowing 🌬️, wind chime ringing 🎐🎵, a bird cooing 🐦]
Win:
Swear words alert.
Headphones without doubt a must.
Awesomeness awaits.
[SFX: background environmental sound slowly fades]
[Riddle no. 0] Bottomline, never ever underestimate your wife
Win: Hello listeners.
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song plays — minimal version]
Joyce: Welcome to East Asian Story.
Win: So a few days ago as we were recording the previous episode, as usual, I played a prank on Joyce. Sneaking a joke into her script for her to read out.
[play excerpt]
Joyce (accusing tone): See you in the next episode where we go on a… treasure hunt. Treasure hunt what? What treasure hunt?
Win (pleading tone): Maybe my birthday?
Joyce: UGHHHHHH. You’re looking so smug right now. I really have to make this treasure hunt…
[end of excerpt]
Win: And now, I few days later, a day before my 30th birthday. I was relaxing, half awake on the sofa after breakfast. Then SUDDENLY, she stuffed a voice recorder right at my mouth.
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song fades out]
[ENV: relaxing lounge music play in the background 🛋️🎶]
Joyce: Hey!
Win: Hey, hey~
Joyce (couldn’t hold back her laughter): Can you read this for our listeners!
Win: HUH!?
[speechless out of shock]
Joyce: [sneaky laugh] The look on your face! [laughs]
Win (confused tone): What? What?
Joyce: READ IT.
JW: [laugh together as Joyce handed over the first riddle of the treasure hunt]
Win (reading riddle no. 0):
Hi everyone, I’m Win. I’m turning 30, yea three zero,
and despite that, I asked my dear wife, Joyce, for a treasure hunt for my birthday.
[laughs] YOU! Stop roasting me!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win (continues reading riddle no. 0):
She had me believing she had nothing prepared,
but my oh my! I’m finding myself on a journey beyond compare.
Please bear with me as I upgrade the auditory,
Got to have the best field equipment for East Asian Birthday Story!
Joyce: So rather than this thing that we’re using, you can use the new gadget to try it out.
Win (narrating): The new professional recorder that I just bought. 🎤
Win: NO.
Joyce: Why not?
Win: There’s no memory card to use yet, you silly.
Joyce: Ngiaw…
Win: [laughs mockingly]
Joyce: Well in that case, you got yourself your first birthday present!
Win: Don’t tell me it’s a memory card.
Joyce: Open it.
[ENV: ripping the wrapping 💥]
Win (laughing, disbelief tone): What the fuck!?
It’s an SD card for the… [laughs]—
Joyce: —So basically the missing piece to your equipment shenanigan.
Win: You bought it last minute so that we can do this!?
Joyce: YEA!
Win (resigned tone): Oh my god.
Joyce (snobbish tone): You almost ruined my plan, but I never let my plans get ruined.
Win: [snort] OK let’s do this then.
Joyce (pleased tone): Kay!
Intro
Win: Wow. Super smooth eh Joyce.
Joyce: Bottomline, never ever underestimate your wife.
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song plays — full string orchestral version]
Win: So upcoming on today’s episode—
Joyce: —How it feels like, and what it meant to him to reach his 30s.
Win: I’ll be solving 6 riddles in 3 locations to find my 2 mystery birthday presents—
[note: correction, there are 9 riddles!]
Joyce: —In a relaxing journey together—
Win: Except the part where we, you know, like ran away from the Godzilla of Bangkok City.
[teaser begins]
Joyce: Spooky
[ENV: Godzilla roar in the distance and footsteps 💥🦖💥]
Win: And also when you tricked me with super hard Harry Potter and Star Wars riddles, evil.
Joyce: Free Dobby!
[ENV: a padlock opens 🔓✨]
Win: [GASPS] It opened! YES, YES! This is the way.
Joyce: [laughs]
[end of teaser]
Joyce: All this fun recorded on a professional field microphone.
Win: By a totally unprofessional, silly married old couple using it for the first time. [laughs]
[begin teaser]
[ENV: inside the car 🚘]
Win: I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK! TELL ME!
Joyce: What does the clue say?
[ENV: car turn signal turned on, clicking 🚘✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️]
Win: OH SHIT DON’T GO! NOOOO!
Joyce: [laughs]
[end teaser]
Joyce: You’re just so annoying.
Win: Hehe. Alright let’s go get ready!
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song volume rises, then fades]
[Riddle no. 1, 2] Kick your ass, how dare you suggest that!
[Music: super nostalgic, childhood song plays]
Joyce: So we switched to his new field recorder.
Win (mic testing): Hello, hello. Meow, meow 😽.
Win (narrating): Got dressed. And as I came out.
Win: HUH!? I’m going to have a cake NOW?
Joyce: YEA!
Joyce (narrating): YOUR birthday cake. A strawberry yoghurt cheesecake I made.
Win (narrating): Well, one doesn’t argue with one’s wife. So… [laughs]
[ENV: Joyce lit a match to light the birthday cake 🔥🎂]
Win (confused but cute tone): What is happening?
Joyce (‘like a mama to her child’ tone): Kay. You wanna make a wish?
[silent, thinking]
Win: I wish for Joyce to be happy. Good?
Joyce: You don’t say it out loud otherwise it doesn’t count. [laughs]
Win: Fuck man.
[ENV: Win blows off candles 🌬️🎂]
Joyce (clapping): Yayyyyyyyyy! Old man turns 30!
Win: Wait, when was I old?
JW: [laughs]
Win: I’m really old!
Joyce: Done! Let’s eat!
[Music: super nostalgic, childhood song begins to fade]
Win (narrating): We finished the cake, and as my reward—
Joyce (narrating): The next clue to the treasure hunt! Oooooo~
[Music: hopeful piano song plays]
Win (reading riddle no. 1 in a Medieval knight tone):
Rise and shine big boy, today’s the day.
As per your request, we’ve got a game to play!
What lies ahead is a little adventure,
For the body, for the mind, and a bit of cheque to enter—
Joyce: —A cheek, a bit of cheek. [laughing]
Win: I was like… a cheque? 💸
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Am I getting money!!!
JW: [laughs]
Joyce: I wish!
Win (continues reading riddle no. 1):
There’s not much we can do in this space,
So let’s go out for a drive and also change base!
To start off our journey, I lend you my phone,
Your first quest awaits, hidden in a sacred zone.
Joyce: I lend you my phone!
Win: Ooo! There’s a new lock box app on the screen, but I couldn’t access it without entering a 6-digit PIN on the number keypad…
Joyce: The one like those on an old Nokia phone with 3 to 4 alphabets underneath each number.
[silent, Win confused]
[Music: hopeful piano song fades out]
Joyce: Ahem! 😒
[SFX: poke poke 👉💥 👉💥]
Win: Huh? Oh there’s another hint?
Joyce: Oo!
Win (reads riddle no. 2 in a Medieval knight tone):
It’s locked you say, how very unlucky.
I guess things aren’t going to be that easy.
Win: You cheeky.
[Music: hopeful piano song plays — with rising beats and hum, care free version]
The clue you’ll find at our next stop,
A place we frequent, it’s one of our tops.
So many memories we have made here,
For each and every time we clink drumsticks with cheer.
O’ adventurer! A scrumptious lunch awaits.
So get crackin’ and packin’, you don’t want to be late.
Win (narrating): The PIN to this lockbox is at the destination.
Win: KFC? Are we gonna eat KFC?
Joyce: A place we frequent.
Win: KFC? You mean like near our house? So we have to go home now? Holy shit that’s like an hour drive.
Joyce: It’s lunch!
Win (protest tone): But I just had breakfast!
Joyce (monotonous, snobbish tone): Then that’s fine we can just cancel the rest of the treasure hunt.
Win: Shut up!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Kick your ass. How dare you suggest that.
Joyce (narrating): Finally we’re ready.
[ENV: lots of movements in the background 👋]
Win: We’re going! We’re going! Let’s go!
Joyce: Yay!
Win: Adventure awaits!
[ENV: Win opens the room door 🚪, door handle clicks back 💥, switches off the lights 👉, wind whistles through the corridor 🌬️]
Win: Nice and crispy sound.
[ENV: JW shut the room door 🚪💥]
[the scene cuts]
[ENV: JW shut their car doors 🚘💥, put on seat belts 💺, car engine starts 🔥⚙️🚘⚙️🔥]
Win: So where are we going?
Joyce: You tell me! I’m your chauffeur.
Win: [laughs] KFC, off we go!
Joyce: Okay.
Win (narrating): And so it begins, our drive out of Bangkok to KFC, to hunt for the PIN that might lead me to my birthday presents. WHEEEE!
Joyce: A perfectly… normal activity for 2 grown-up adults.
Win: Presents! Presents! Presents! WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!
[Music: hopeful piano song fades]
The evil Godzilla of Bangkok City
[Music: mysterious suspenseful song plays]
Win (narrating): Unfortunately, at 40 minutes to our destination, we crossed paths with the hangry Kaiju Beast of Bangkok City.
Joyce (narrating): A typical day, we’re very used to it now.
Win (narrating): Sorry in advance.
[Music: mysterious suspenseful song fades out]
[ENV: car interior sound while driving 🚘, turn signal clicking ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️]
Win: Can you give me a hint of the next clue?
Joyce: No.
Win: Please.
Joyce: No. You’ll get it when we’re there.
Win: Tell me how many chicken do I need to order!
[ENV: Godzilla’s distant rumbling stomp 💥🦖💥]
Joyce: It’s up to you! It’s really up to you.
[ENV: Godzilla’s distant howling]
Joyce: Spooky.
[ENV: Godzilla’s approaching stomp 💥🦖💥]
Win: I’m so willing to eat chicken—
[ENV: Godzilla’s approaching stomp 💥🦖💥]
—however—
[ENV: Godzilla’s approaching stomp 💥💥🦖🦖💥💥]
—I need so that—
[ENV: Godzilla’s approaching stomp 💥💥💥🦖🦖🦖💥💥💥]
—the clue is revealed.
JW: [laughs]
[ENV: suddenly the earth around us shakes, Godzilla’s super loud angry roar overwhelms our conversation]
Win: ไอเหี้ย [swears in Thai — see Easter Eggs section], sounds like a Godzilla—
Joyce: —Him! Kill him!
Win: WHAT!? YOU EVIL!
JW: [a huge laugh together]
[ENV:
lots of noisy car engines 🔥 🏎️⚙️ 🔥 🚐⚙️ 🔥 🚚⚙️ 🔥 🚗⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥,
motorcycles 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥 🏍️⚙️ 🔥;
honking sounds 💥📣🏎️ 💥📣🏍️ 💥📣🚗 💥📣🚐 💥📣🚚 💥📣🏎️;
the Godzilla’s roar was made by a massive truck 🔥💥 🚚⚙️ 💥 🚚 ⚙️💥 🚚⚙️ 💥🔥]
Joyce: Woa, big bike.
Win: And pot holes.
[ENV: multiple ‘Godzilla’s stomping sound’ 💥💥💥🦖💥💥💥; revealing what the Godzilla’s stomping sound was made from…]
Win: This episode is definitely not sponsored by Bangkok City.
Joyce: I’m not going to comment on that. [laughs]
Win: [laughs] fine. This episode is not sponsored by KFC right?
Joyce: No. I wish it were. If it were we could do like hashtag ad—
[ENV: HONK, by a huge truck 💥 📣🚚 💥]
—or hashtag gifted. Hello!
Win: Hello Bangkok!
[ENV: more honking by multiples cars 💥📣🏎️ 💥📣🏍️ 💥📣🚗 💥📣🚐 💥📣🚚 💥📣🏎️]
The sound of angry drivers.
Joyce: And this car like cancels out a lot of noise from outside.
Win: Let’s try sampling from outside now.
Joyce: This side would be ideal.
[ENV: Win lowers the car window to blaring car engine noises 🌬️⬇️🚘]
Win (shouting outside the window): WOOOO I LOVE JOYCE!
Joyce: [LAUGHS HARD, surprised]
Win: Thank you for the SD card.
THANK YOU FOR THE SD CARD I LOVE JOYCE!
[Music: nostalgic guitar song plays]
THE BEST PRESENT EVER! I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS! I FINALLY GET A FIELD RECORDER AND JOYCE BOUGHT ME AN SD CARD MEMORY CARD YAY!
[ENV: Somebody singing in the background 💥🎵💥, Joyce laughing in the background, speechless]
WOOOHOOOOOOOO! HOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO~
[ENV: A heavy truck drives pass 💥💥 🚚 💥💥]
Win: You like it?
[ENV: Win closes the window ⬆️🚘]
Joyce (laughing tone): You’re always the weird one in this relationship.
Win: Hehehe! I always wanted to do this.
Joyce: Yea and look at the… You can’t even see the sky line!
Win: Toxic air.
Joyce: It’s a really bad day to like open the car window but you had to, so.
Win: My wish is fulfilled, I can die in piece. [laughs]
It’s my dying wish!
[ENV: car speeding 🚗💨💨💨]
Win: We’re like around twenty— 20 minutes away from KFC. What do you have in store for me?
Joyce: [laughs] You’ll find out.
[Music: nostalgic guitar song fades]
Win: I can’t wait anymore and I’m hungry too!
Joyce: Let’s have a conversation.
Win: About what?
Joyce: About how it feels to be 30, to change decades in your life.
Win: I feel…
[Music: nostalgic guitar song plays — rising version]
Alright. [laughs] I don’t know, I don’t have any opinion.
Joyce: You hated your twenties.
Win: Yea I feel liberated, fine. Like, I mean in my first decade, 0 to 10, I can’t remember much anyway, right. And then 10-20 is like umm, a torture of like high school, middle school, primary school. You know like the exams thing that haunt me in my nightmares every time.
Joyce: Yea you and formal education don’t really go well together.
Win: Yea. And 20-30 is kind of like, umm, I don’t know what I’m doing with life, I’m trying to find it, and then now I’m in my 30s. So a lot of people say like, “Man, I’m old now” and things like that but then I feel like… Yea! It’s time to live my life!
Joyce: Why does it remind me of a TED Talk, umm, that I watched a while ago, it’s titled ‘Why your 30s is the new 20s' or something like that.
[note: actually the title of the talk is ‘Why 30 is not the new 20’, hahahahaha!]
Win: I mean… I do feel old. When I was in my 20s, especially in uni right, I can just sleep like 3 hours and go full power. But now like—
Joyce: —These days you sleep 9 hours.
Win: So— so I really feel it in my bones. [laughs] Like urggg I’m getting old, I can’t. But also like, even though I don’t have that much energy to pour it in now to be like a super crazy person, but like with whatever I have I’m pretty happy with it.
Joyce: [laughs] You make it sound very tragic, whatever you have left of life.
What plans have you got for this decade?
[a brief pause of reflection]
Win: Nothing? [laughs] Just be happy—
Joyce: —Says the planner!
Win: Just be happy! Just… do what I want to do without compromising Joyce, my family and my health! That’s it! Simple wish!
I don’t want— I don’t need to change the world or anything, I just want to like live the life I want to live. Maybe as a bonus, might have kids, might have dogs, but if I don’t have the money then never mind—
Joyce: —[GASPS] Dogs! With an S.
Win: What?
Joyce: You said dogs with an S!
Win: That was a mistake…
Joyce: [gasps]
Win: You know every time I say like, “Hey we’re gonna get a dog”, and then Joyce is gonna cry every time.
Joyce: [laughs] It’s my dying wish.
[Music: nostalgic guitar song fades out]
Win: Then I should just get you one now and then you can die immediately. [laughs]
Joyce: You want me to die.
Win (laughing tone): No, I don’t want you to die.
It’s that— It’s like, your dying wish is so simple to accomplish you know—
Joyce: No as I said— I told you it’s like in The Sims— It’s like in The Sims where you have a life aspiration then you meet it and then The Sims— the— the game would go, “Now your Sim has met their life aspiration. Would you like to select a new one?”
Win: No.
[sighs] Whatever. Shiba Inu all the way, HEY!
Joyce: Yea!
Win: [laughs]
Joyce: I want a black one and a brown one…
[ENV: the ‘interior of a speeding car’ sound 🚗💨💨💨 and her voice slowly fades off ]
[Riddle no. 3] The clucking mad Chizza scramble
[ENV: car interior sound continues 🚘]
Joyce: Do you see something?
Win: Oh you mean like KFC?
Joyce: Mmm.
Win (Gollum’s eccentric “my precious” tone): My treasure, my treasure!
[ENV: Joyce grabs something from a plastic bag hidden beside her car door 💌👋, then passes it to Win]
Win: Wh— WHAT! You sneaky!
[Music: bouncy, cheeky song plays]
JW: [laughs]
Win: You just go to the side of the car and grab like this, wh— what clue is it? The 3rd one.
Joyce: I don’t know.
Win: What the hell… Wait I haven’t had my chicken.
Joyce: Open it.
Win: Now? Before the chicken?
Joyce: Yes.
Win: Oh my god. What the hell.
[ENV: unfolding the paper containing the riddle 📄👌]
Win (reads riddle no. 3 in an exaggerated tone): Ahem!
Yes! I can see it! Glimmering red and white.
Takes me back to that day we came in the middle of the night—
Win: —[laughs] What…—
Win (continues with the riddle):
Celebrating the first episode, I couldn’t help but ponder,
Wouldn’t it be cool if these guys were our sponsor!
Win: [laughs] You sneaky!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win (continues with the riddle):
Jokes aside though, look around for your next clue.
Something screaming adventure, shiny and bold off the menu!
Neither chicken nor pizza, but a little bit of each.
Figure it out, and your locked cabinet is within reach.
By the way, don’t forget we’re still in this pandemic,
So before that yummy munch, spray that stinky antiseptic!
Win: [laughs] I love it!
Joyce: It’s time specific.
Win: Wait, do you mean like the price of the… chicken-pizza hybrid is the combination, 6-digits. Okay—
Joyce: —HOW ARE YOU GONNA PAY 6-DIGITS FOR YOUR KFC MEAL?!
Win: I was wondering about that too. Like what the hell…
JW: [laughs]
[Music: bouncy, cheeky song rises in tension level by adding drumbeats]
Win: OH IS IT THAT?
Joyce: What?
Win: Zero, eight, one, four, six, six, two, one, seven, seven.
[note: please don’t call them, I don’t know who they are…]
Joyce: You just gave out somebody’s number!
Win: [laughs] Fine.
[ENV: Joyce presses the turn signal ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️]
Win (laughing tone): You’re just like shitting with me right? There’s nothing 6-digit on the menu.
Okay I have to look now? Like where— where do I look? [panic tone]
We’re getting into KFC now I’m— I don’t know where to look! Tell me! [protest tone]
Joyce: What does the clue say?
[Music: bouncy, cheeky song now adds playful piano]
Win (speed reads in a panicky tone): Umm. Look around for your next clue. Something screaming adventure… shiny and bold off the menu!
Where? What? What adventure, shiny and bold—
Joyce (annoyed tone): —What’s the next line.
Win: Neither chicken nor pizza, but a little bit of each.
[pause, searching for the solution]
CHIZZA!? [laughs]
Wait, is it the 39… 139.
Joyce: That’s 5-digits.
Win: And—
[Joyce starts the car’s turn signal again ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️, moving into the drive-thru before Win can figure it out ↪️🚗💨💨💨]
Win: OH SHIT DON’T GO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Joyce: [laughs hard]
Win: WAIT!!! CHIZZA!!!
Joyce: We have to order! Do you want to try it?
Win: HUH? [still in a disbelief state]
Joyce: Do you want to try it?
Win: Try what!?
Joyce: The Chizza.
Win: OBVIOUSLY I HAVE TO TRY THE CHIZZA OTHERWISE I CAN’T GET MY TREASURE!
[ENV: the turn signal bounces back ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ ✨➡️ 💥]
Joyce: Okay what do you want? Let’s order.
[pause to look at the menu]
Win: Erm. One chicken would be nice. [completely forgotten about the Chizza…]
Joyce: Okay.
JW: [laugh together]
Win (laughing tone): What about the Chizza—
Joyce (laughing tone): —And how many Chizzas?—
Win (laughing tone): What about the Chizza.
Joyce: —How many Chizzas?
Win (laughing tone): One is enough.
[ENV: Joyce rolls down the car window ⬇️🚘]
The KFC cashier (in Thai, polite variant): Hello
Joyce (in Thai): Hello. Can I have a chicken and 2 pieces of Chizzas please.
The KFC cashier (polite): Okay.
Joyce (polite): Yes, that’s all.
[ENV: Joyce closes the car window ⬆️🚘]
Win: WHAT?
Chizza 39.
Win (narration): 39 Baht.
Joyce: Mm-hmm.
Win: 39-39-39?
Joyce: [laughs] Oh dear…
Win: WHAT THE HELL!!! TELL ME! [laughs]
What! Chizza what—
Joyce: —Take my phone, take my phone. Use my phone, try to figure it out.
Win: Three, nine, three, nine, three, nine.
No it fails! The app doesn’t open!
Joyce (‘for goodness sake!’ tone): Translate Chizza into the code!
Win: C-H-I-Z-Z-A… Ahhh! So 6-digits
Joyce: [laughs] My god.
Look closely at the keys.
Win: Keys?
OHHHHH! OHHHHHHHHHHHH! Revelio!
Joyce: [laughs]
Joyce (narrating, ‘rolling her eyes’ tone): Basically, each of the 6 alphabetical characters in the word Chizza corresponds to a number on the keypad. Couldn’t be more obvious.
Win: Right, so the key—
Joyce: —Keep it. Let me pay first.
Win: Ughh. Right, right.
[ENV: Joyce rolls down her car window ⬇️🚘]
Win: Sneaky.
The KFC cashier (polite): It’s 250 Baht.
Win (chanting cheekily in the background to embarrass Joyce):
Chizza, Chizza, Chizza, Chizza, Chizza!!! [laughs]
[ENV: Joyce hastily closes the car window after finished paying ⬆️🚘💦]
Win (laughing tone): Why are you closing the window.
JW: [laughs]
Win: CHIZZA! CHIZZA! CHIZZA! CHIZZA! [laughs]
Win: Should I open it now?
Joyce: [stretches herself] Open what? Okay.
Win: The passcode lock—
Joyce: —Yea, yea, yea.
Win: Since they’re not like, granting us our Chizza yet.
[begins figuring out the code]
Win: Chizza is… two… four… four… nine, nine, two! [pauses, then GASPS]
There’s a drawing. Is it your own drawing?
Joyce: Yea.
Win: Oh it’s here, it’s here. Chizza!
[Music: bouncy, cheeky song fades]
[ENV: Joyce rolls down the car window ⬇️🚘]
Joyce (in Thai, to the cashier politely): Is it this one?
The KFC cashier (polite): Yes.
Joyce (polite): Thank you.
[ENV: the sound of a paper bag 🛍️]
[ENV: Joyce rolls up the car window ⬆️🚘]
Win: Chizza! Chizza! Chizza!
Joyce: Alright! Let’s park and eat!
[Riddle no. 4] YOU’RE gonna make it, you have all the ingredients
Win: Kay.
[ENV: spraying alcohol hand cleanser 💦🤲, hands rubbing 👏]
Win: It’s COVID-19 everyone. Stay safe.
[ENV: Joyce sprays extra alcohol cleanser playfully 💦 💦 💦 💦, then rubs her hands 👏]
Win: You like it right?
JW: [laughs together]
Win: Kay.
Win (‘playing with a hand puppet’ tone): Hello Chizza. Hello, hello.
[ENV: a crunchy bite of crispy chicken 🍗🐅, wolfing down the food 🐺, breathing out because it’s hot 🔥, then gulp 💧]
Joyce: Well?
Win: So we’re done?
Joyce: Mmm.
Win: I can say, out of the 3 things that we ate, Chizza was the best.
Joyce (pleased, but disbelief tone): REALLY!
Win: Yea!
Joyce: Kay. That’s good.
Win: You have a good taste.
Well. I’m ready for my next voyage.
[looking at Joyce’s drawing on the phone that was revealed after entering the 6-digit PIN]
Win (looking at riddle no. 4): So, it’s a picture that Joyce drew, umm. There’s a bottle of cold brew concentrate, Schweppes dried ginger ale, lemon, passion fruit, and also ice!
So, the simple answer to that is… Joyce is going to make a cold brew at home.
Joyce: Shaken passion fruit cold brew coffee cocktail 🍹.
Win: That’s your specialty!
Joyce: YOU’RE gonna make it.
Win: I’M GONNA MAKE IT?!
Joyce: You have all the ingredients.
Win: You want me to do it? I’m gonna do it, for the treasure hunt. [snorts]
Win (narration): Sorry in advance for the construction in the background at our house.
💥🔨
Joyce ASMR cocktail montage
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song — full orchestral version plays]
Joyce: SO!
[ENV: Joyce banging a cup on the table authoritatively ⬇️ 🥃 💥]
Joyce: One-third of a lemon.
[ENV: chops a lemon 🔪🍋]
Joyce: Squeeze it in.
[ENV: squeezes the lemon into the mixer 🍋💦]
Joyce: Kay. Next, one passion fruit.
[ENV: cut passion fruit 🔪🌰]
Joyce: Don’t lose the juice.
Win: Go passion fruit!
[ENV: scraping the seeds 🥄 and the juice into the mixer 🌰💦]
Joyce: Next, coffee.
[ENV: pouring into the mixer 💧🍸]
Joyce: And then the Schweppes ginger ale.
[ENV: gas release from the can 💨, can cracks open 💥, gassy pouring sound 🍺🍺🍺]
[ENV: getting ice from the freezer into the mixer ❄️]
[ENV: shaking the cocktail mixer 👋🍸👋, ice clattering at its surface ❄️❄️❄️]
Win: Good?
Joyce: I’ll pour it for you.
[ENV: places 2 glasses on the table 🥃 🥃]
[ENV: added cubes of ices into the glasses ❄️ ❄️ ❄️]
[ENV: pouring sound into the glasses 💧💧💧
with loud cracking noises of the fresh ice ❄️ 💥 ❄️ 💥 ❄️]
Joyce: I think I could be a foley artist.
Win: [laughs]
[ENV: Joyce scraping and extracting the juice out of the passion fruit seeds left on the filter, and adding them into the glasses as the top layer]
Win (whispering voice): Joyce ASMR.
[ENV: shakes the glass 🔄🍹, the ice mixing the cocktail even further ❄️]
Joyce: Happy birthday.
Win: Thank you.
[ENV: clink the glasses 🍹💥🍹]
[ENV: Win sips, AHHHH — crude tone 🤤]
[ENV: Joyce sips, ahhh — posh tone 🧐]
[Music: relaxing yet exciting song volume rises, then fades]
[Riddle no. 5] Run! Before my parents come back. RAWR!
Joyce: Kay. I recommend that you do your next clue down here.
Win (whispering): My parents are upstairs, I don’t know when they will come down so we have to speak quietly!
[ENV: Joyce hands Win the next clue after successfully completing the mission, Win unfolds the paper 📄👌]
Win (reads riddle no. 5, soft tone): Right.
Ahhhh, how refreshing and delicious,
But you’re probably on edge, crazy curious!
As to what our next clue will be,
So let’s pick up where we left off, don’t you agree?
Coming up sir, is your first gift out of two—
[Music: fun but mysterious song plays]
Win: Wait, your first gift out of two, and what— what about this morning?
Joyce: That’s number zero.
JW: [laughs]
Win (resumes with the riddle):
Hiding in a little corner where the coldest winds blew.
Three chambers exist which you could try open,
But here’s a hint: this one’s never been broken.
Win: Holy shit! This is a legit riddle! Oh my god!
Wait. Coldest winds blue— but then like… there’s aircon all over the house— OHHH I KNOW, IT’S THE FREEZERRR!
Wait. You don’t. [laughs] You put something inside the freezer and my mum 🐯 did she know?
JW: [laughs]
Win: Three chambers exist which you could try open— there are three refrigerators in the house so that’s three chambers.
But here’s a hint, this one’s never been broken. Ohhh, so it’s the newest one obviously, hehehe.
I don’t know what I’m suppose to find.
Joyce: Let’s find out.
Win: But it’s probably a piece of paper, one of a kind.
Joyce: [laughs at my improv rhyme]
[Music: fun but mysterious song fades]
[ENV: opens the freezer 🌀🚪🌀]
Win (disbelief but laughing tone): What the hell!? There’s a present inside the freezer. [laughs]
Okay, we can sneak up now, right?
Joyce: Okay.
Win (whispering): Let’s RUN, RUN, RUN! Before my parents come back!
[Music: carefree, driving guitar song plays]
Joyce: [whispering laughs]
[ENV: running footsteps 👣 👣 👣]
Joyce (soft): Oww, oww. Gonna slip and fall!
Win (whispering): And then suddenly, “WIN, RAWR!”
JW: [whispering laughs]
Win (whispering): Go! Go!
[ENV: footsteps 👣, opens our room’s door 🚪]
Win (whispering): Go! Go! เร็ว! (quick in Thai)
Quick! Quick! Quick!
Joyce: [laughs under her breath]
[ENV: closes our room’s door 🚪💥]
Win (relieved tone): Hahhhh! We’re safe.
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Safe and sound.
Joyce: [sighs] You shy boy.
Win: [sighs]
[Music: fun but mysterious song fades]
[Riddle no. 6, 7, 8] YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Win: Right! I’m gonna rip it apart, I don’t care anymore.
[ENV: ripping the gift wrapping 💥]
Win: Wow! Okay so there’s a package and… another letter.
Win (reading riddle no. 6):
Here’s something warm and snuggly,
For a day so cute and cuddly!
What I’m called is your next clue,
Part of my name lives on a shelf in your room too!
Win: Okay! I need to open, I guess.
[Music: comedic, but mysterious song plays — bouncy strings only version]
[ENV: opening up the packaged box 👋🎁👋]
Win: Wait is this— is this like sterilised?
Joyce (laughing): What do you mean?
Win: Do I need to wash hands?
Joyce: No. [laughs]
Win: I’m being like paranoid, pandemic you know.
What’s this!? Hey, it looks good!
Joyce: The fabric’s really nice.
Win: Oh I love it! It’s a turtle neck basically, and that’s hinting to the next thing! Right? Either turtle or neck.
It’s the Pokemon turtle right?
Joyce: [laughs under her breath]
Win: Squirtle, Squirtle come out!
And now Pokemon is our advertiser. [laughs]
[ENV: Win grabs Squirtle 🐢👌]
Win: Hello Squirtle!
Oh you’re sitting on something!
Win (reading riddle no. 7):
Chiang Mai, Khao Yai, up in the air, down on the ground,
Take me wherever, just wheel me around!
Joyce: What is it?
Win: Wheel me around… what’s a wheel…
[pause]
OHHHHHH!
[ENV: Win claps his hands ✨👏]
Joyce: What is it?
Win: The luggage. That’s a good place to hide, like, a gift. Genius.
[ENV: grabs the luggage and drags it across the floor on its wheels 💨]
Win: Hello, hello! Oo! It’s heavy.
Right. Umm… security key.
[ENV: Win fiddles with the padlock 🔒, which requires a 4-digit PIN code]
Win (gasping voice): WHAT!? Why doesn’t it open?! HUH?!
Joyce: Hmmm?
Win: Why doesn’t it open?!
Joyce: I don’t know!
Win: Did you do anything? Hint to me.
Joyce: I don’t know. I honestly—
Win: —CHIZZA!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: OPEN CHIZZA!
JW: [laughs]
Win: WHAT! WHAT?! WHY doesn’t it— why doesn’t it open?!
Joyce: Surely there must be some clue.
Win: What the hell! This is a— this is a serious business of treasure hunting you know. I have to crack so many codes…
[Music: bouncy, comedic, but mysterious song fades]
[ENV: Win collapses the luggage and open up its front zip 🤐]
Win: There’s a paper!
[pause]
Win (reading riddle no. 8 in Gandalf’s angry tone):
YOU SHALL NOT PASSSSSS!!!
Win (laughing really hard): YOUUU!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!
[Music: comedic, but mysterious song plays — full orchestral]
JW: [laughs]
Win: You printed out the Gandalf— the Gandalf meme.
Joyce: [laughs hard]
Win (narrating): Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, and beside it there’s another meme of Snape from Harry Potter.
Joyce (narrating): Read it again, all together.
[ENV: fumbling with the paper 📄🙌]
Win: Oh my god…
Win (reading in Gandalf’s angry tone):
YOU SHALL NOT PASSSSSSS!—
Win (reading in Snape’s venomous tone):
—unless you know which page of which book I want you to open, Potter.
Win (laughing but frustrated tone): UGHHHH! THIS IS— THIS IS SO HARD— THIS— this is like beyond treasure hunting insane… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!
JW: [laughs really hard together]
Joyce: This is testing your Harry Potter fandom.
Win: Oh my god…
Joyce: What page—
Win: —I’m not a Harry Potter fan—
Joyce: —What page does Professor Snape tell you to turn to—
Win (in Snape’s voice): —Three hundred and fifty six, Potter—
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: —something like that.
I need to go and watch the movie— I DON’T KNOW! REALLY I DON’T KNOW! [protesting tone]
Joyce (disbelieving tone): Our listeners will be like, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW!”
Oh my gosh…
Win: [sniffs] I guess— I guess the treasure hunt ends here.
JW: [laugh together]
Win: I lost because I’m not a Potter fan!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: I can’t get my ultimate present—
Joyce: —You have to tick all the boxes.
Win (dejected, dazed tone): I failed… as your wife… [laughs]
Joyce (perplexed tone): As your— as my wife? I’m sorry?
JW: [laugh ticklishly]
Win (laughing tone): I failed as your husband— I failed AS A HUMAN!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Dammit!
Joyce: Seriously no inkling of that scene from the film?
Win: No inkling. Nothing.
It’s like you’re forcing me to remember something I don’t know—
Joyce: —Dammit. I thought this is universal!
Win (typing onto the search bar):
Hey Google, “Snape tells Harry to open book”
[pause]
Oooh!
Win (switches to Snape’s voice): Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four, Potter.
Joyce: Out of which book?
Win: Yea! It’s like, hoping they realised Lupin— I remember something like that!
Joyce: Yea…
Joyce (narrating): Snape wanted the class to deduce that Professor Lupin was a werewolf. Wer-wulf 🐺. So he asked the class to open the textbook to that page.
Win: So Azkaban, right? 394 of Prisoner of Azkaban—
Joyce: —Why don’t you— why don’t you go find out—
Win: —why don’t I go find out.
Win (Snape’s tone again): Right SO! Turn to page 394, Potter!
Joyce: He didn’t say it to Harry, he said it to the whole class.
Win: Turn to page 394, the whole class!
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, I shall go.
[Music: comedic, but mysterious song fades]
[Riddle no. 9] Oh I’m supposed to know Elven tongue eh?
Win: Wow. This is so old.
[ENV: Win flips open the dusty book 📕💨]
Win: [coughs like an old man] Shit. Three hundr—
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Ughhh it smells like shit. I think we should buy a new set, agreed.
[ENV: continues flipping the book 👋📕👌]
Win: Three hundred and ninety-four… three hundred eighty… three hundred—
Ohhhh! Three hundred ninety-four! There’s a piece of paper in the middle.
[ENV: grabs the paper resting between the pages 📄👌]
Win: Ahhh. Putting it back… Right, let’s see.
[ENV: positioning the paper to read 📄🤲]
[Music: super sneeky prankster song plays]
Win (‘panicky but suppressing his laughter’ tone): I’m a Mudblood, what am I gonna do?—
Joyce (picking on Win’s prank): —YEA RIGHT. THAT’S NOT WHAT IT SAYS.
JW: [laugh really hard together]
Win: Fine!
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS— SERIOUSLY— YOU REALLY—
You really put so much thought into this treasure hunt didn’t ya. Like! Okay it says like…
Win (reading riddle no. 9):
ad’eta olan ad’eta solus
Win (narrating): With apostrophes between every word.
Win: And then there’s like some freaking weird character below which I cannot read.
Joyce: I mean you of all people should be able to decipher what this is.
Win (resigned tone): [sighs] I already failed you once and you expect— [laughs]— you expect I can accomplish this? Are you for real?
[a brief pause, figuring things out]
Win (laughing but frustrated tone): UGHHHHH! THIS IS SO HARD!!! I want to cry already! YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY!!!
Joyce: [laughs satisfyingly]
Win: Treasure hunt! I regret asking for a treasure hunt!—
Joyce: —YOU asked for it.
Win: Fine… Right. [breathes in] I’m gonna decipher this.
Detect language. Okay. I should use this.
Joyce: I don’t think it’s giving you any results…
Win: Doesn’t… give me anything.
Joyce: Well, if Google doesn’t detect what language it is, what might that tell you?
Win: Then it’s probably a fictional language?
Is it Elven, huh? I’m supposed to know Elven tongue from Lord of the Rings or something?
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: House-elves? [laughs]
Joyce (house elves tone): House Elves? Mr. Potter?
Win: Okay, I know what to do—
Joyce (disbelieving tone): —Don’t you recognise the language?
[momentary awkward pause]
Win: You’re overestimating me again! I can’t—
Joyce: —I mean—
Win: —I can’t read like Wizardry language.
Joyce: But out of the two of us, you would be the one to know it.
Win: Like what kind of language has an apostrophe, seriously.
Fine. I’ll just put it in Google.
Joyce: Free Dobby!
Win: I’m getting desperate now… —Mandalorian numbers!
[a controlled breath out] Oh my word…
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: I DON’T READ MANDALORIAN, I’M NOT LIKE—
Joyce: I thought you would recognise the symbols!
Win: —I don’t go into Star Wars and look at like—
JW: [laugh]
Win: —And look at like—
Joyce: —No as in—
Win: —Okay the characters look Mandalorian I’m supposed to know it’s Mandalorian.
Joyce: Noo. I mean I wasn’t expecting you to be able to translate it, but I put the characters there so you might get a sense of what it might be, what language it might be—
Win: —[laughs]—
Joyce: —So you can look on Google…
Win: You know right now I feel like I should kill myself.
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: [laughs] I’m baby Yoda, I don’t know how to read this yet you know.
Joyce: Okay, sorry…
Win: I’m still— I’m still a youngling. This is NOT the way.
JW: [laugh]
Win: Right! Mandalorian number, languagesandnumbers.com, can’t believe I’m doing this—
Joyce: —shout out?
JW: [laugh]
Win (laughing tone, but also no energy left to give a shit):
What the hell are you doing?—
Win: —Counting in Mandalorian. Ahhh solas. One.
[ENV: grabbing some stuff]
Win: Let me use a pen, this is getting too serious for me.
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Like, my birthday becomes like, I have to work today, I feel like—
Joyce: —Inspired by Escape Rooms.
Win: So that’s a number, how do I make it like, how many digits? 1, 2, 3, 4— 4 digits.
[ENV: dropping the pen, grabbing the 4-digits padlock of the luggage]
Win: Twenty, hundred, twenty, one! Ohhh okay.
[pause]
Win: I have no idea. [laughs]
Joyce: [laughs] I thought you figured it out!
Win: Right, try 2-1-2-1 then. Let’s go.
You look dubious. [laughs, then in a laughing voice]
I’m probably wrong! I’m sorry ancestor!— [back to normal voice]
—Wait, you do know how to reset it back right?
JW: [laugh]
Win: I’m not gonna use this Mandalorian number forever for— to lock my bag.
Win: Twenty hundred— 2-1 2-1 right, 2121! Hmm.
[ENV: padlock doesn’t budge 🔒😒]
Win: NOOOO! What the hell!
So the last 2-digits are probably correct, like twenty and one.
Joyce: Oh okay I see why you’re confused—
Win (triumphant tone): Yayyyyy!— I found a mistake in your treasure hunt—
Joyce: —No, it’s not a mistake. It’s— it’s how they write the numbers. But it can be confusing if you don’t know the language.
Win: Oh! [chokes] Oh SO YOU KNOW THE LANGUAGE.
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK MANDALORIAN EH!
JW: [laughs, then sighs]
Joyce: What’s twenty hundred?
Win: Twenty hundred is two thousand. So two thousand twenty one. Which is this year. Which makes sense! Let’s try that.
Okay you don’t look dubious now. I’m probably correct.
JW: [laugh]
[ENV: padlock clicks open 🔓✨]
Win: [GASPS] OH IT OPENED! YES! YES! This is the way.
Joyce: [laughs] After like 3 hours. [laughs]
[Music: super sneeky prankster song fades]
Win: HOW! LIKE, THREE HUNDRED— PAGE 394! LIKE HOW WOULD I KNOW—
Joyce: —I— I tried to engage with all the things that you like, and I kind of sneaked Harry Potter in there.
Win: And even though I like Mandalorian I don’t even know the— how to read the numbers—
Joyce: —How am I supposed to know you don’t know the numbers!
Win: HAH!
Joyce: Cause you like keep reading Wiki and all that stuff!
Win (laughing tone): WIKIPEDIA DOESN’T WRITE IN MANDALORIAN, YOU— [lost for words]— WHAT THE HELL IS— WHAT’RE YOU THINKING!
[ENV: Win unzips the luggage]
Win: I’M— I’M SO TIRED.
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Like, this is my treasure! Finally!
[ENV: drops the luggage]
Win: Thank goodness. And then suddenly I open and then “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
Joyce: [laughs]
[ENV: unzips another compartment]
And they live happily ever after… as a Mandalorian couple.
Win: [sighs] Finally, the end of a journey.
[Music: nostalgic rising piano song plays]
Win: [sighs] I see a huge box again, and also, there’s a letter.
[ENV: grabs the items]
Win (reads the letter cover in a cheerful tone): Happy birthday!
[pauses to enjoy it]
Win: Right, anything else inside? Oo there’s another one.
Joyce: It’s a screenshot of a smartphone text message.
Win: It says, Rach!
You mean your friend in UK? Hello!
JW: [laugh]
Win: So basically Joyce is messaging Rachel…
Win (in a Goblin voice): Oi! I need to ask a big favour.
Joyce: Do it properly!
Win: Fine. Fine.
Win (reading the screenshot):
Hey, I need to ask a big favour!
I’ve been looking the world over and found this seller in the UK.
Do you think you’d be able to re-package it and post it over to Thailand please?
And then Rach replied.
Haha, sure! What’s your address?
Oh, so there’s a backstory to this gift, it’s sent from the UK.
[ENV: grabs the other letter inside 💌👌]
Win: Right, let’s look at the other one.
Win (reading from Joyce’s letter):
Dearest Win,
Congratulations on a glorious new beginning. Your 30s.
The past 10 years have undeniably been a bumpy ride for you, I know.
But hey! You finally got to come home.
You married me—
Win: —The best part of the whole letter right?
JW: [laugh]
Win (continues reading):
—and you also discovered your passion, after however many twists and turns.
Maybe your 20s weren’t so bad after all.
Now that you’re stepping into a brand new decade, so much goodness awaits you.
I cannot wait to see what you’ll be creating, what grand things you’ll be planning,
and what even greater and kinder a person you’ll mature into.
Win: Wait, you’re forcing me to be a kinder person ehh.
Joyce: Hint, hint!
Win (continues reading):
So I got you a companion for this adventure. He’s just perfect for you.
He’ll be there to empower you through your journey, literally.
He’ll also be there when you feel like you need a cuddle.
I hope you’ll become best friends.
Love you lots, and Happy Birthday!
Joyce, 2021
Win: [laughs] Okay you made a mistake there and you criss-crossed out like 2020.
JW: [laugh]
Joyce: What did I say when I crossed it out?
Win: You said like— No! Bad year! (2020)
Joyce: [laughs]
Win: Nice.
[breathes in and out] Final gift!
[ENV: Win tears the gift wrapping]
Win: YAYYY!!!
So, the present is… The Child, Grogu, from The Mandalorian.
Win (narrating, excited): The official Disney soft toy replica.
Joyce: Happy 30th!
Win: YAYYY!!!
Joyce: This— this version hasn’t arrived in Thailand yet, that’s why it had to come from the UK.
Win: Wow. Thank you so much!
Joyce (tired tone): Months of preparation.
Win (tender tone): Thank you! It was fun. Amazing. [laughs] The best birthday ever. Seriously.
Win (laughing tone): And they live happily ever after… as Mandalorians… couple.
JW: [laugh]
Win: NOT Harry Potter.
Joyce: [laughs]
[Music: nostalgic rising piano song fades]
Win: When we have kids we’ll play this with them. They’ll have to learn Mandalorian numbers.
Joyce: Oh dear…
Good farting to you!
[Music: super relaxing and sweet ukulele song plays]
Win: If you enjoyed the treasure hunt, follow our show and share it with your friends!
Joyce: Spread the WORD about The Evil Godzilla of Bangkok City.
Win (semi-shouting tone): Spread the word people! Spread the word!
Win (cheeky tone): We love Thailand! We love Thailand! We love Thailand!
Joyce: Are you alright?
Win: In case the government come and catch us—
Joyce: —NOOOO, oh my god this is so petty—
Win: —[laughs]—
Joyce: —I just published about undemocratic practices in schools and like— student protests and— [beat box] HOIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!
Win: We love Thailand! We love Thailand! [laughs]
Joyce (annoyed tone): [clucks] Are you done?
Win: WHEEE!!!
Joyce: Also, on eastasianstory.substack.com, you can find the photo of Chizza, the awesome cold brew, Win’s birthday cake that I made, and Baby Yoda, his cuddly companion. The link is in the episode description.
[note: this is the page, those photos are at the top!]
Win: That’s it for today.
Joyce: And see you in the next episode about our experience studying abroad.
Win: We’ll be sharing our 8 insider hacks.
[plays the teaser]
Win (confident tone): There are 3 levels of how you do the packing—
Joyce (laughing tone): —Oh my god you’re gonna say seeds?
Win: HUH?!
Win (narration): And give you a super immersive experience of what studying abroad really feels like down to the bones.
Joyce (sad tone):
He said to me… you’re gonna walk through those gates… and you’re not looking back.
[dramatic pause]
My eyes… turned into oceans.
[end of teaser]
Joyce: I’m Joyce.
Win: I’m Win.
Joyce: And this is East Asian Story.
Win: I’m gonna teach you how to say like goodbye in Chinese .
Joyce: [makes some uncomfortable whining noise]
Win: So… the way to say it is fàng pì (放屁). Fàng pì.
Joyce: Fàng pì.
Win: Okay let’s say it together. 1, 2, 3…
JW: Fàng pì!
Win: [breaks down laughing] Sorry! [laughs more uncontrollably]
Joyce (laughing tone): I don’t think this is legit!
Win (laughing tone): What— what do you mean— what do mean by that?
Joyce (laughing tone): Cause you like to play pranks when you teach me Mandarin.
Win: [laughs uncontrollably]
Actually you’re right. [laughs more] Your sense is amazing. [laughs more]
The word fàng pì means like, to fart. [laughs more]
Oh my god! My wife is amazing.
Fine. Fine. To say goodbye is zài jiàn (再见). Zài jiàn.
Joyce: Zài jiàn.
Win: Okay. 1, 2, 3… Zài jiàn.
Joyce: Fàng pì!
JW: [laugh really hard]
Win: Zài jiàn!
[pause]
[Music: super relaxing and sweet ukulele song fades]
Joyce: Ahem! [beat box] Bottomline, NEVER, EVER, underestimate your wife. 😏
End of transcript. See you in the next episode!
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